


The Troubles of Telling Your Family

by DarkMoonMaiden



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Peter and Wade finally admit they're dating, Telling the Family, The Avengers are the family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-01 03:40:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkMoonMaiden/pseuds/DarkMoonMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers find out about Peter and Wade's relationship</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Troubles of Telling Your Family

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my 100th follower on tumblr, booxesofbooxesofspookernet :) I hope you enjoy!

When Peter and Wade started dating, they wholeheartedly agreed with keeping their budding relationship a secret. Peter was still skittish with the awkwardness of a 19-year-old, and both of them had too many enemies who would use it against the two of them. It was for their safety, and had little to do with the fact that the Avengers and a spattering of other heroes would have Wade’s balls if they knew he was dating the loveable Spider-man.

Nope. Nothing to do with that at all.

It was a mystery as to why Deadpool popped up whenever the Avengers would be on a mission. The first few times were chalked up to his eccentricities, but Peter’s teammates were starting to get wary, suspicious of some hidden motive. Wade acted casually, complimenting Captain America on his A+ ass and dropping innuendos left and right with Peter, the other shooting out sarcastic remarks and hiding his lingering glances behind his mask.

Things were going well, and no one had questions about the time Peter and Wade were spending together.

So naturally, Natasha was the first one to find out. Peter wouldn’t have expected it to be anyone but her.

A mission had just ended, and the Avengers had returned to the tower. Wade had been allowed into the building to give his report to Agent Coulson and SHIELD, but as usual he was loitering around the property, somewhere out of sight from the superheroes.

Natasha was entering the kitchen, having taken a shower to wash off the grime from fighting and now moving on to the next part of her morning routine, making food. She was wearing civilian clothing, a rare occurrence to anyone other than her close teammates, a tanktop with sweatpants that had a knife safely hidden within. Clint trailed after her, bow slung over his shoulder as he fiddled with the head of one of his arrows. Neither said anything, enjoying a companionable silence as they did their separate tasks.

While Natasha was crouching in front of the cupboards, Clint looked up from his arrows and stared at something. He elbowed the redhaired agent, getting her attention and chucking his head towards the living room.

She leaned back to see what Clint was gesturing to and stared. Her eyes narrowed.

Deadpool and Peter were standing by the window, the mercenary leaning in close to Peter as he talked. His mask was rolled up past his nose, and the younger’s was completely off, showing slightly flushed cheeks as he laughed and responded to whatever Deadpool was saying.

What really caught Natasha’s attention, though, was the hand that Deadpool had resting on Peter’s hip.

She straightened her back just as Clint notched an arrow into his bow and let it fly. It lodged into the window right between Peter and Wade’s faces, sending the two boys jerking away from each other and squawking. As this was happening, Natasha was smoothly approaching, drawing out her knife from her sweatpants and face emotionless. The assassin shoved Deadpool up against the glass, pressing the blade under his jaw.

“Peter?” Her deceptively sweet tone made them flinch. She directed the question at him without taking her eyes off of Wade. “How long has this been going on?”

“H-How long has what--” Wade tried to splutter, stopping when the knife was pressed harder into his scarred skin.

“I was not asking you, and I am not an idiot, Mr. Wilson,” Natasha responded curtly. There was a squeaked response, which was ignored. “Well, Peter? How long?”

Peter bit his lip, hunching his shoulders and picking nervously at his costume. Months of working with Natasha had taught him that it was better to just tell the truth instead of going through the torture of trying coming up with a convincing lie. “A couple of months,” he admitted.

“And how come I wasn’t made aware?”

“Because we wanted to keep it quiet until we got a bit more serious,” Peter mumbled. He gestured widely at the position Natasha and Wade were in. “And we knew that you’d do something like this.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Clint from where he was a few feet away. He shrugged, grimacing ever so slightly as if to agree with them. She nodded in acquiescence, pressing closer to Wade.

“I don’t think I have to make a long and drawn out threat to make my point,” she purred. “He cries, you lose some very important parts. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he gasped, trying to stay as still as possible so the knife wouldn’t dig deeper into his skin.

Natasha nodded and finally stepped away. Wade immediately relaxed, gingerly rubbing his neck and breathing heavily. He attempted and failed to compose himself, inching closer to Peter for safety.

"I won't tell Steve or Tony, but you should probably hurry up and do that yourselves before they find you guys making out in the corner," she advised coolly. "And I expect you to stop lying to me about where you're going when you leave, Peter. If you're on a date with him I want to know where you're going and what time you'll be back."

"I'm nineteen!" Peter wailed, covering his blushing face with his hands. "I don't need you mothering me!"

She gave him a pitying look.

Natasha returned to the kitchen, a smirking Clint following. He clapped Deadpool heartily on the shoulder before leaving, uttering in his ear, "Better watch what you do." Peter groaned, head lolling back.

***

Thor was next to discover their not-so-secret-anymore relationship.

He'd left Stark Tower with money and strict instructions from Steve to go straight to the bakery and straight back, and to only get what was on the list. "Please don't come back with fourteen pastries again," he begged.

The god honestly enjoyed being out with the mortals, and he grinned widely as he waded through the crowds. It was so intriguing to hear bits of their conversations, to see the strange and exotic clothes, the numerous shops and their many wares, to have a beautiful maiden send a smile every so often…

And this bakery was a delight. It was tucked away from the main streets, with quaint little decorations and always a nice flow of people coming in and out. The lovely middle-aged owner always made sure to give Thor the best of the pastries, and occasionally throwing in a couple of free things she thought he’d enjoy.

It was still early morning when Thor headed out, Steve wanting to have the pastries for breakfast. The streets were relatively empty--as empty as they ever got in New York--and the bakery only had a few early birds in it.

“Greetings, oh fair pastry mistress!” he boomed, making the customers flinch and stare. “I have come once again for your delicious baked goods.” The owner’s face was a bright red and she tittered happily, accepting the list Thor handed to her. She already knew the routine of his frequent visits. Grinning widely at her, the god of thunder sat down off to the side, waiting for the lady to gather up the numerous baked goods. He didn’t look up when the door opened, until he heard the familiar voices.

“...Don’t understand why you want to get up at the ass-crack of dawn on a weekend.”

“Because I want food, and this place gets really packed fast. And I wanna spend some time with you before everyone else wakes up.”

Wade grumbled, pulling his hat down farther over his face to hide the scars. They walked up to the display case, and Peter pointed at something. “How about that? It looks good.”

“Petey, I can’t think right now. Just get me something you think I’d like so we can go and cuddle in bed.”

Peter laughed, wrapping an arm loosely around the other’s waist, selecting out something for the both of them. Thor felt warm realization wash over him as Wade relaxed into Peter’s side, pecking a soft kiss onto his cheek. Ah, so _this_  was what his young teammate had been up to the past few weeks. All of the sneaking and appearances of Wade on the battlefield made sense now.

Thor was going to talk to them, but stopped, not wanting to disturb the sweet scene. He waited until the couple had been gone for a few minutes before picking up the pastries and leaving, hoping that they’d be at breakfast so he could properly congratulate them.

***

“Ugh, what is _he_ doing here?” Tony lamented when Deadpool strolled into the kitchen, wearing his usual costume and a cocky grin.

“Rude,” Wade scoffed, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. He took the seat closest to the glaring billionaire, leaning over him to emphatically wave at Steve. “Hello, captain! You’re looking as gorgeous and perfect as ever.” Steve gave him a stiff and polite smile as he continued cooking. “And you’re making pancakes? Can I marry you yet?”

“He snuck in my room this morning to play video games,” Peter lied, rolling his eyes as he sat down between Bruce and Wade, hoping to stop his boyfriend from getting himself killed. “Please don’t kill each other over breakfast.” Tony grumbled something into his coffee about fixing JARVIS’ security settings, tapping away at his tablet and desperately ignoring the existence of Wade.

The elevator dinged, and Thor came striding out, conversing with JARVIS about what sounded like the importance of eating utensils in nice restaurants.

“ _It’s the customs of this society, Master Thor. You cannot use your hands to eat soup_.”

“But I simply do not understand--ah!” His grin widened as he spotted Wade and Peter. “Young friends!” He strode forward, dropping the pastries off on the table and clasping one of the two boy’s hands in between his own. “I apologize for not having congratulated you to on your courtship sooner. I only just discovered it today, whilst at the pastry house. Tell me, how long have you two been together?”

The room was in stunned silence. All of the color had drained out of Peter’s face, and Tony was murderous.

“Yes, tell us, _Wade_ ,” he said dangerously, leaning closer. “How long have you been dating Peter?”

Wade swallowed compulsively, slowly letting go of Thor’s hand and tensing to run. “Um,” he said slowly, for once thinking carefully about what he was going to say. “A...couple of months or so…”

“So when you started showing up on missions and in the Tower,” Bruce clarified, quickly getting over his surprise.

“So...all of us weren’t aware?” Thor asked, lost. “I thought it was me…”

“No, no,” Tony assured him. “None of us knew.”

Peter was about to speak, but Steve interrupted him in something akin to a screech, “ _He was in your room!_ ”

“Oh my God,” Peter groaned, knowing what he was insinuating, head colliding with the table. “Stop, please just stop.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve had sex with him already,” Tony begged, putting his hand on Wade’s face and shoving it back so he could stare down Peter. “Or did anything sexual with him. Do I have to check you for STIs? What if he has herpes?”

“I’m clean, thank you very much!” came Wade’s muffled response, which earned him a harder shove that knocked his chair over and sent him toppling to the floor, arms flailing.

“God, why do you all think I need babying!” Peter complained, moving to help Wade back to his feet. “I’m nineteen, I know how to use condoms!”

“So you have had sex with him,” Tony gasped, scandalized and seeming personally insulted while Thor beamed at him, proud that his friend had had enough courage to perform such an act.

“Well, it’s good that you’re using protection,” Steve offered, holding Tony back with a firm grip on his arm. He gave Peter a weak half-smile. “And at least we don’t have to worry about you getting a lady pregnant.”

“Yeah, that’s super great,” Peter said, flushed with embarrassment. “But can we all stop ignoring my boyfriend? Because he’s right here. Thanks.”

Bruce cleared his throat. “Sorry, Dead--Wade.”

The mercenary waved him off with a friendly grin. “No problem, green dude.” Bruce winced at the nickname, but didn’t comment.

Steve pursed his lips. “It’s just worrying when the youngest on the team’s been dating someone dangerous for a few months and hasn’t talked about them.” Tony agreed emphatically, relieved that his feelings had been verbalized by the captain.

“I knew that you would do something like this,” Peter shot back. “You guys overreact over everything. If you’re going to physically and verbally attack my boyfriend, then why should I introduce you to him?”

“So we can do just that!” Tony squawked.

Peter rolled his eyes and groaned loudly. “Okay, yeah, I’m done for now,” Wade said, holding up his hands. “I’ll come back when I don’t want to punch Iron Man in the dick.”

“No, Wade, stay,” Steve pleaded, standing up from the table. “Tony’ll behave.” The billionaire began to protest, but was silenced by JARVIS, who calmly recommended that he let the issue go before he was locked out of his labs by Steve for an indefinite amount of time.

Wade sat down, and the rest of the breakfast continued with an actual level of civility. Clint and Natasha came down, quick flashes of surprise flitting across their faces at the sight of the mercenary, but they chose not to question his presence while joining everyone at the table. Peter stayed close to Wade, tense and nervous, waiting for someone to make a snarky comment about Wade or their relationship.

Sensing his boyfriend’s distress, Wade slipped his hand under the table and grabbed Peter’s, chattering aimlessly with Bruce and Steve while he tenderly stroked his thumb over Peter’s hand. The younger man relaxed, lips curling up minutely as he accepted the comfort. Bruce notices the gesture in the corner of his eye, and for him, it’s further evidence to prove that the mercenary actually did love Peter, that he was being cared for properly.

Once breakfast was done, everyone scattered to do the day’s agenda. Peter took Wade to the main living room, knowing that if they tried to go back to his room they’d be stopped immediately (Tony had no doubt already changed the security settings so Wade wasn’t allowed into his room).

“Geez, I’m so sorry about them,” Peter apologized guiltily, biting his nails as they sat down on the couch. “They were being such assholes today.”

“Nah, it’s really fine,” Wade brushed the apologies off, mask fully off now that it was just the two of them. He smiled warmly at Peter, running his fingers soothingly through his brown hair. “It’d be cute, if I didn’t know that they would totally actually kill me if I did anything. Now it’s just a bit terrifying.” Peter chuckled humorlessly, leaning into his boyfriend’s side as he changed the channel on the TV.

“But at least they didn’t try to kill me,” Wade mused thoughtfully. “I count that as a resounding success, and I think we should celebrate with victory sex.”

Peter sat up, alarmed. “Don’t say those things so loud!” he hissed. “You’re gonna get yourself banned from ever coming back here.”

Wade laughed, interlacing their fingers and kissing his cheek. “It’s alright, sweets,” he cooed, rubbing the back of Peter’s neck with his free hand. “The worst of it’s over. Now we just have to wait it out until they get over themselves. And at least I don’t have to talk about Mr. America’s ass now, but can focus on yours.” Peter snorted and punched him in the arm before giving him a proper kiss.

The kiss deepened, Peter running his hands gently over Wade’s scarred head as the other gripped his slender shoulders. Peter shuddered, tongue darting out to touch Wade’s lip and draw out a groan. Wade’s hand drifted lower, and right as it was on the very lowest of Peter’s back, a loud, screeching alarm filled the arm. Peter screeched, jumping backwards. As soon as they weren’t touching, the alarm stopped, leaving their ears ringing.

“What the fuck, JARVIS?” Wade demanded, glaring hotly at the ceiling.

“ _I apologize, Master Parker, Wilson_ ,” the AI’s voice drifted through unseen speakers, sounding apologetic. “ _Master Stark has made it so that if you two were to touch anywhere deemed inappropriate, I am to separate you_.”

“TONY!” Peter roared, already out of the room.

On another level, watching the security cameras, Clint choked on a laugh, watching the whole interaction. “I think I like him,” he decided to Natasha, who was sitting next to him.

She grunted, but still toyed with a smile, agreeing with her partner.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> If you have any requests, send me an ask on my tumblr:  
> darkmoonmaiden.tumblr.com


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